Democracy Under Construction

After 50 years of being touted as a democratic country, the first layer of bricks is finally laid onto a "democracy" whose foundations have been laid half a century ago.

Who delayed the construction? I would not place all the blames on the leaders past and present. In a democracy, it is the responsibility of the people to think for themselves what they need, not to wait for their parties or government to tell them what they should have.

But don't immediately label me as a hardcore opposition supporter. I have no great love for any of the political parties. They are necessary, but that does not mean that I must adore them. Therefore, without feeling any particular affection towards either the ruling coalition or the opposition camps, my sentiment is: it is always good that a pseudo-democracy - including both its government and its people - is awakened from its stupor and complacence to realize that "democracy" means the people do have a choice after all.

And to me, that is the real victory.

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Even if that victory means at least four years of life under an under-funded state government. ;-p Steep price, but worth every penny of it.

A fish and its water

A friend visited my blog and asked, "why do you write about boring stuffs? Do something controversial!" His idea of a fun afternoon is a killing spree in downtown Miami. Blood-spurting corpses of bikini-clad blond babes. That kind of things.

Well, I can only say that, boredom to me, is like water to fish.

That's when my mind starts wandering around and boldly goes where it dares not go when I'm perfectly in my right mind. ;-p

(To my friend) Look, I'm a boring guy who enjoys boring stuffs! What can I do about that? That's me! The thing is, I'm that kind of guy who even finds certain rubbish interesting enough as the subject of a sketch, like the one here:
I named the pencil sketch "Contemplation". If you have my "frequency" of imagination, you would start seeing why I called it that. (Hint: hand on chin, another across the table resting near the elbow of the first. No? Never mind...)

The "rubbish" in question was the "aftermath" of my lunch. I was then studying in U, so lunch means economic rice that comes wrapped in oil paper. That unidentified object besides the fork and spoon is the oil paper rolled up and tied with rubber band.

And if you are wondering, university students generally don't spend their afternoons in library doing homework or studying. They sketch the residue of their lunch or go on a killing spree in the cyberspace. Yep. The country's future is screwed. (I hope this comment is controversial enough for my friend. :0) )

"The wheat, which is golden, will remind me of you."

In "The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, my favorite part is Chapter 21. It is at once poignant, heart-warming, sad, and, above all, enlightening. Every time I read what the fox said to the Little Prince, "But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat...", I still feel my heart being rent by the sheer beauty of it, and yet, at the same time, the truth it reveals is a salve to past wounds: There are so many beautiful things that we can find in our relationships - with our family, our friends, our love - what sense is there in dwelling on pain and loss?

I painted this picture as a scene after the Little Prince had left the fox. I personally did not intend to have it contain any trace of melancholy at all - yes, the little fox may seem rather lonely in that picture; but as he said, he finds comfort - and beauty - in seeing the golden waves of the wheat field and in hearing the rustling wind among the wheat stalks... and he is happy.

I have not painted often in watercolor, being a lazy person (pencil sketches and cartoons in ink are more abundant); among the few watercolor paintings I've done, this ranks among my favorite. It is simple, unpretentious, even a bit childish, and I did it on a rather small piece of paper (not even the size of A5, I think), but somehow, it resonates deeply with my soul.

Perhaps it is because I, too, love to sit and watch the wheat field turn golden...

My Other Alter Ego

His name is Dumbo.
Well, of course; because it's another representation of me. (By this time you should realize that I'm kind of camera-shy.)

I created this character a few years back when I tried to set up my own website. There are a total of 18 drawings of this character. I kept the website updated for less than 2 months, I think, and I got tired of constantly updating the pages. It is actually still there (dumbostudio.tripod.com; it's in Chinese, though), after all these years.

If you have read my previous post (the one below, about the flying elephant), I'm sure you have already guessed that this fellow here doesn't really look like me. For one thing, he's got to be at least 50kg lighter than me. And I'm much taller. The only resemblance is in the short-cropped hair and bushy eyebrows. And I do favor wearing the color brown (various shades of it, including certain shades of yellow and orange). However, being a plus-plus-plus-sized bloke, I can't always get my favorite color, because size has to be the foremost factor for consideration.

It is worth mentioning that when I started outlining the website some time in 2001, my main idea was to have a page on which I would add on journal-like entries of my musings on various topics (see "Dumbo Journal"), with the most recent updates on top. "Wait a minute; isn't that just like a blog?" Yep, in retrospect, that is exactly like a blog. Except, at that moment, the idea of blogging was only starting to catch on in my country (and not yet among my friends), and I have not heard of it yet when I started the website. If I had, at that time, created a blog instead of a website, maybe I would not have given up after just 2 months. :-)

Anyway, what's past is past. Let's hope little Dumbo here keeps going for longer than his previous run.

"Wow! Flying elephant!"

"Wow! Flying elephant!" Someone watching at the side of the court blurted.
Then and there, the name stuck.

Well, you see, it was a fine day, and a group of us who were in the same society in U decided to have a few rounds of badminton.

Now, before I continue with the story, let me lay out a few essential facts: (1) I was fat (still am, actually; in fact, more so now); (2) but I was agile; (3) agile fat guys aren't that common; (4) freshmen these days no longer respect their seniors.

And so, it was my turn inside the court, and I was up against someone who was quite good at the game. I made a rather bad return, and my opponent sent the shuttlecock flying towards the far corner. I quickly made a couple of high-leaping bounds toward that corner and got to the shuttlecock just in time. That's when someone blurted "Wow! Flying elephant!" and the game was sent into a prolonged time-out because practically everyone - players and spectators alike - was rolling on the floor, laughing uncontrollably.

From that day on, I became "Dumbo", the flying elephant.

"Elephant" is a Fool

For the uninitiated, this is the imprint of a Chinese seal. One of the earliest that I made.

The large character in the middle is "象" (in ancient writing, of course), which means "elephant", while the 4 smaller characters on the left say "象是笨蛋（'Elephant' is a fool）" (the word "Elephant" here refers to a specific person, so it is NOT a generic statement saying "all elephants are fools").

This seal was inspired by the fact that I was nicknamed "Dumbo" and also by a novel of the same name (象是笨蛋） by 西西. I'm not a particular fan of this author (she is good though, I must say), but the title of her book spoke of my feeling at that time, because I was going through a painful breakup - with a best friend; I haven't started dating at that time.

I picked up seal-carving when I was in the first year of U, I think. It was during a holiday, and I was doing a short stint in a factory where an uncle of mine was manager. During a lunch break, I found the nearby supermarket having a small exhibition of all things Chinese, and there I found - to my utter delight - a complete set of tools (the carving knife, the vise, the stone, a dictionary of ancient characters, etc.) for making seals. And the rest is history (part of it being that I spent most of what I earned during that holiday on buying stones and little ornate boxes for containing the finished seals; yep, no doubt about it: "Elephant" is a fool).

Fruits of Boredom

I kind of miss school.
And I think I'm also beginning to miss sitting in a cubicle.
In another word, I miss the helpless feeling of boredom.

I still get bored from time to time, of course. That is evident from the number of times I've played Minesweeper.
But I miss being bored silly from 8am to 6pm non-stop, be it in a classroom or in an office cubicle.
I mean, those were arguably the most creative of my days. Instead of learning the school texts or working on that damnable yield report, I would be drawing cartoons, writing poems, composing songs, etc. and the works produced during those days still rank among my favorites.

Take for instance this chubby little elephant that I'm using for my profile in this blog.I drew this out of boredom, on a piece of foolscap using a medium-tipped fountain pen (for the finer lines, I just used the other side of the tip), during a lecture in U (I think the subject was electromagnetic). And it has served as my personal logo ever since.

Clarification: that is his bellybutton. In case you wonder...

And, I'm sure you've noticed. My nickname is Dumbo.

Before I sign off, here's another cute little elephant (another fruit of my boredom) as a preview for my next (maybe not the immediate next) post:

It's about the origin of my nickname.